You know the feeling when there’s too much going on and your brain just won’t stop thinking about it all?
That’s how I’m feeling at the moment. I can’t rest, I’m busy thinking and worrying and planning all day and all night long.
Even when I’m sleeping my brain is still working away. I have been having very vivid dreams lately which usually means I’m not shutting down and resting completely. And whenever I wake up to the kids it seems to pick up exactly where I last left off, resulting in me laying there pleading with my mind to shut down just enough for sleep to come.
Some of what I’m worrying about is valid. Some is not. Here’s a snapshot of my what’s marinating in my brain right now:
1. Work. I’ve been worrying about work lately. I am currently in a project role and find that my 5 hour days seem to not even scratch the surface of what I need to do. I’ve brought some reading home this weekend to try and get a head start for next week. Not sure if that will help me or not.
2. Going Away. In a couple of weeks I’m off to Canberra for a few days for work and my mind has been trying to think of all the things that need to be covered at home while I’m away. I’m also worrying about the kids and how they will handle my absence. It will only be for 2 nights but I already know they will be hard work when I return.
3. School Funding. I have written a few posts lately (here and here) about the Every Student Every School policy being brought into NSW public schools next term. I’m worried that we’re not getting any traction on this issue and that it’s going to be introduced without a fight. I’m even more worried for my son and how he will cope in mainstream once his current level of funding ceases at the end of this term.
4. Our Eating Habits. I saw a fascinating documentary called Fat Sick and Nearly Dead during the week. It’s about Joe Cross, an Australian guy who undertook a juice fast in the US and travelled across the country telling anyone who’d listen about the benefits of microbiotic food and eating less processed product. I came away determined to improve my family’s diet and have been mulling over how exactly I can make this happen ever since.
5. The Endless Saga of the House. The saga continues as we weigh up the benefits of buying land and building or holding out and buying something already established. I like the idea of building what I want but am baulking at the stress and work that will entail. But I’m not at all confident that we’ll find THE house if we decide that building is too much. So, yes, the saga continues…
6. My fitness (or lack thereof). I want to get in shape and do more exercise but I’m struggling to find the time (or rather I’m struggling to find the motivation to make it happen). My body is telling me I need to make it happen – those harder to close zippers and buttons don’t lie. Nor does the continual lethargy and the feeling of being sort of unwell but not sick enough to do anything about it. Yet I still ponder and do nothing about it.
7. The blog. I’m always thinking about posts and what I could write about. Now that I contribute to Just Add Geek as well, my blog pondering has doubled. I’m also feeling guilty for not commenting enough on other blogs – there just seems to be not enough time in the day to write for my own, do the bare basics in social media and get around to commenting widely. I do read lots but I just don’t get to comment as much as I’d like.
8. The Kids. I think and worry a lot about the kids. Am I spending enough time with them? Am I doing enough for them therapy-wise? Does Matilda have enough clothes? Will Delilah ever learn to stay in her bed? What mood will Gilbert wake up in today? Oh, the thinking is endless when it comes to my Three Little Bears!
9. Our new car. We are thinking about leasing a new car and have been going to and fro with the leasing company to get quotes and work out which car we would like and can afford. Meanwhile we are borrowing a car and the pressure is on to resolve things one way or another.
There’s lots of random stuff going on in there as well (which I won’t bore you with) but these are the big ticket items in my life right now.
I just want to stop thinking for a moment so I can catch my breath and get some real sleep!
What’s on you mind right now?
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It sounds like your poor brain is on overload. I find when my brain won’t stop thinking about things, I need to prioritise and make a list and also find some time just to relax and try and empty your mind, a nice bubble bath is good 🙂
I might just try the bubble bath suggestion tonight. I have a spa bath in the ensuite that I haven’t tried out yet (we’ve been here in our rental nearly 2 months already!) so I think that is exactly what I might do once the kids are settled for the night. Thanks for the suggestion!
I know the feeling of not being able to turn your mind off…I suffer with that a lot too.
Unfortunately, I think it’s all part and parcel of being a mum. We’re generally the nurturers but also the worriers…at least I am!
Taking one step at a time, and making lots of lists tends to help me.
Wishing you the best with it all,
I think you speak the truth Tracey. I take most things on in my family and after a while the old brain just can’t take much more. I think it is telling me to slow down a little – I might try and obey it this time!
I agree about my brain not stoping. Mom called it “Thinking 2 thousand thoughts at once.” She came up with that in the 50s’ in the sticks of Alaska. I would say she was a pretty smart old gal. But, my point is she taught me to think what I wanted to say three times over before I say it. That causes me to stay on one thought.
I am experimenting with exercise at bed time. By getting the blood rolling I hope to sleep better. Two nights produced excellent sleep of 7 hours each. This is opposed to 4 to 5 hours of hard labor during my sleep.