I wrote a post recently about feeling human again, about taking time-out from being a wife and mum and just being me for a while.
And it got me thinking about how very grateful I am for having the chance to have some time-out. The chances don’t come along every day and are not usually of great duration, but they are so very necessary to my mental health and to my innate happiness as a person.
It is so easy to just “go on” through life, going through the motions but not really being engaged in what you are doing.
When life seems to whizz by at a relentless pace how can you savour everything and “be in the moment”?
I feel like I have been living in a haze lately. My focus has been on my kids and organizing specialist appointments and ensuring we have the necessary paperwork and money to attend these appointments.
I feel burdened by the responsibility of making decisions for them, for ensuring I follow through on all the referrals and homework therapy. All this on top of my existing commitments to my job, my ongoing household chores, my relationship with my husband and everything else…
I basically forgot about me as a person – I kept pushing my needs to the side because I felt they were insignificant in relation to everyone else’s. But they are not and I should not feel guilty for needing some time to rediscover me or for wanting to be someone other than just my children’s mother for 2 hours.
It is no surprise that I needed a break of some kind – I truly believe there is only so much the human brain can take in and only so much a person can take on!
So last night’s time-out came at just the right time for me. It acted like a circuit breaker and reset my emotions. I feel better able to cope with everything today than I did yesterday. I know this feeling will fade and the other worries will start creeping back in but, for now, all is well.
So today I am grateful for the opportunity to have some time-out and the chance to feel more human again.
I think I’m overdue for a bit of time-out. I think everyone would benefit from me getting a break, for sure! 🙂
Hahaha! We all deserve a bit of time to ourselves, we just have to get past the guilt factor and be proactive about it. I do hope you get a break soon, for your own sake, at least!
oh this sounds like me, I wrote a blog yesterday about just going through the motions! Definately need time outs more often! think I might go book me a massage!!
I will have to go and check out your post! And go on enjoy that massage, I could do with one of those too!
“The burden of responsibility” is something that presses on me a lot from time to time. We absolutely need the benefit of a recharge as often as we can get it. Nothing to feel guilty about there. x
It’s taken me a long time to stop feeling so guilty about taking time out (I still feel twinges, always will) but I now know I need them or I can’t be the mother I want to be or that my children deserve. Thanks for understanding!
As mothers & wives I think it’s oh so common to feel that your own needs take a back seat to everybody else’s. So often we’re so busy looking after our family & making sure we’re doing everything possible to ensure their lives are running smoothly, that we don’t just forget about looking after ourselves, there just doesn’t seem to be the time!
And then, when we do manage to squeeze in some mummy time-out – we spend half of it feeling guilty! It’s insane!
Yay for having some time to yourself & recharging your batteries. Hope the opportunity comes around again soon 🙂
Thanks Fi – you’ve hit the nail on the head there! Ironic isn’t it, that we dream of some time to ourselves and then spend most of it worrying about what we’ve left behind? I will definitely be trying to find some more time out for myself soon and will do my best not to feel too guilty about it!
A recharge is definately important! It’s just so darn hard to get isn’t it? I guess blogging has become my ‘time out’ lol, but my brain is still ticking over hard core teehee.
Blogging is usually my time out (as well as my therapy!) but you can’t beat actually going out somewhere just for you – that is priceless! Pity it doesn’t happen very often which why I’m so very grateful when the planets align and it does happen!
I’m so glad you got your time out. I know for me at least, I am at the very bottom of a long list of priorities most of the time so when I do get those rare moments that are just for me I really treasure them.
We’re all usually at the bottom of the list, aren’t we? And I’m learning (slowly) that you can’t go on like that indefinitely and that you certainly can’t keep being the mother you need to be without some time away. I hope you can pull yourself up to the top of the list sometime soon!!!
I agree that as a parent of a child with special needs that it is really easy to get caught in the trap of doing what you need to do – looking after your family and all that entails with specialists, government paperwork, running around on top of your other responsibilities – and it is easy to forget yourself. I know I am guilty of that too.
For me when I get like that I just feel numb and invisible. I know when I get a break (and also let myself enjoy that break) I am alot more refreshed, focused and more productive when I come back. Like you said it is very easy to forget our own mental health and happiness … but really to keep our families strong we must remain strong.
Thanks for sharing on Life on the Spectrum
Thanks for starting this linkup Bronwyn! It’s been great to find other parents facing the same challenges – none if us are alone!