This week I’m grateful for warmth.
Warmth, as in physical warmth (hasn’t the weather been glorious this week?). Warmth, as in emotional warmth (acceptance and understanding). And warmth, as in spiritual warmth (comfort in my own beliefs and convictions).
Whoa, that all sounds heavy, doesn’t it? But I am grateful to be where I am this week, as opposed to where I was this time last week. We had just received an Aspergers diagnosis for our daughter and, quite frankly, I was devastated. I couldn’t even write anything for this linkup as I didn’t feel grateful for anything. The whole family was sick with a virus and we were all really really low.
First, the physical warmth of the sun has cut through the doom and gloom and allowed us to spend some more time outside. As our air-conditioner was declared dead on Monday and our firewood stock was running low the warmer temperatures have been very welcome in our house! It has allowed me to get on top of the washing and helped us get over our various viruses. The kids have been happier and that has made me happier too.
Second, I have welcomed the warmth that has come from the certainty of the diagnosis. We have been wondering for so long about what we were dealing with and the diagnosis gives us a direction, a way forward. The warmth stems from my growing acceptance of it and my increasing understanding of how we can now help her.
Seeing the diagnosis in the written report was really hard. But it also released the practical part of me and now I am concentrating on making all the necessary appointments, filling out all the required paperwork and making sure we are doing all we can to best help her.
Third, I feel spiritually warm. And before you run away from a possible religious discussion, it is not about my religious beliefs (whatever they are, once I work that out I may write a post about it!). It is about my belief in myself, my belief in my convictions, in my intuition, in my gut instinct. For ages I was worried I was an over-anxious, over-concerned parent, seeing problems with my daughter that may not actually have existed.
It is debilitating to question your ability as a parent. Paralysing. You don’t want to make a wrong decision, so you don’t make any at all. You have concerns but you are too hesitant to voice them. You watch your child struggle and have absolutely no idea what to do about it.
I now know I wasn’t imagining things or seeing things that weren’t there. My gut instinct was right. And that has flooded me with the warmth of confidence, of purpose, of empowerment. I can now be the parent my kids need and not the one I think they need. That is indeed empowering.
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Oh what a week. I’m so glad that you are able to see the good in all that has happened. Yes, it’s devastating not knowing, but then a diagnosis is just as hard to hear. But how right are you? Now you know what you are dealing with. Good on you for being ever so wise. Go forward with wisdom and understanding.
Virtual hugs coming your way!
Thanks so much for your lovely words of encouragement Kymmie. It has been a tough time but it will get better and we’ll work through it. Knowledge is power, after all – and I am relieved to have gotten my parenting mojo back, had been badly missing that!
Glad the sunshine has crept back into your life…both literally and metaphorically! Isn’t it amazing how something as simple as teh weather can lift our spirits? We’ve been feeling re-vitalised and happier around here too…actually just blogged about it too lol
Cathy, I have been absolutely loving this weather – it certainly sends the blues packing! And I will be checking your blog too…I like reading positive posts!
What a week you have had. I swear the sunshine makes life seem that little bit better, I know for me it does anyway.
It must be so confronting seing a diagnosis written down in fromt of you, but you seem to be dealing with it in a really good way. It’s hard to hear and read those words, but I think too there can be some comfort in knowing what it is and then being able to move forward, knowledge in hand, ready to work together.
Naomi, I have certainly had better weeks! The only way forward is through positivity and I do try to be as positive as I can most of the time…although, like last week, there are those times where it does get you down. Thanks for dropping by!
You can always trust your gut, especially when it comes to your children. Hope the sun keeps shining its warmth on you.
Thanks Nee. I do usually trust my gut but I think this time I wanted it be wrong and that clouded my judgment and confidence…but not anymore!
What a beautiful (warm) post.
Your outlook is inspirational and your clarity resonates.
I hope you have had a gorgeous weekend.
Thanks for your very kind words. I am trying to remain positive, it has been a useful tool in the past and it will help me through this as well, I know it! My weekend has been very nice, currently being finished off with some chocolate cake and cream – both very necessary!
I am a big advocate of parents’ instinct. It’s truly amazing what you’ve been through (and going through). And your strength is inspriring.
Sending you love and warmth xxx
Thanks so much for that Grace. We are trying to work through it so we can give our daughter all possible help and support and assistance. Thanks for sending more love and warmth, we can certainly use it at the moment!
Oh Kirsty, that must have been such a shock. But then, whatever the diagnosis, it doesn’t change your darling daughter one little bit. She is still her, regardless of whether you name her condition or not. The good bit is that a name gives you a plan that will support her as she grows. That can only be something to be grateful for.
Warmth is a beautiful word. x
Thanks Maxabella. Warmth was the perfect word for how I was feeling when writing that post. It has been a tough week since but I have tried to focus on moving forward and retaining that confidence in myself and in what we are doing for her. Thanks for your lovely words!